i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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