Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
