Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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