Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize