that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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