Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
