He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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