Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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