If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
