you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
