i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
