therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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