Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
