This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Your mouth is God's brothel.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
