dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
