Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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