I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
