even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
