Heybabeimwearingurpanties
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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