if you like me you must not know who I am
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
