I murdered the dance floor call the cops
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
