Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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