When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
