dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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