took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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