Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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