what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
