she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
