i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
