oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
