At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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