No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
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I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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