Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
