It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
