I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
