Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can I color on your dick again?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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