I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
