Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
