She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
there was a trapeze. enough said
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
