yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Randomize
