So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
