My balls are so social today.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize