this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
