I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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