fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize