I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
