I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
