I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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