You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
