Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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