everyone is single if you try hard enough
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
