Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
