I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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