does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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