how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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