When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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