you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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